


Between the two of us

by Tommo_d_Tease



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Louis, I hope, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Past Relationship(s), Top Harry, Trigger Warnings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-09-07 07:07:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20305444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tommo_d_Tease/pseuds/Tommo_d_Tease
Summary: They've been broken-up since 2013, it has caused a rift between them both, the band and everyone in between. Now years later, after the hiatus, Louis is now talking to him as if he did not break the older lad's heart years ago. It seems like a new found love is the cause. So why does Harry's heart hurt whenever he thinks about Louis moving on? And why does everybody is wary of Louis newfound boyfriend?





	Between the two of us

* * *

* * *

_“Louis, it’s been four years…you should go on with your life. Look at yourself—"_

_“…”_

_“Lou…he’s not the only person in the world…he’s not the only person that could love you—I, I am here. You know I love you.”_

_“…”_

_“Please—can’t you just give me a chance?”_

_“Luke, it’s not that easy—"_

_“I know, but I can try, right? Am I that hard to love?”_

_“Luke—"_

_“…”_

_“You, you’re a nice guy. You’re not that hard to love. Maybe I’d try. Maybe it’s the best I could do—maybe it’s what Hazza wants.”_

_“No, Louis. It’s not what he wants. It’s all about the best thing for you.”_

_“Thank you for being there for me, for this past two years—"_

* * *

* * *

“Hey mate, how are you doing? Are you coming back to London? Or are you going to stay in LA?” I had just woken up when I answered Liam’s call and now realizing that wrong decision. I was too hungover to deal with a hyper Liam at this early in the morning without even a sip of caffeine. My stomach lurched and rolled inside of me. I grunted my reply but that didn’t deter Liam’s onslaught of nonsense chatter. Typical goody ole Liam.

“We really need to get that Lads’ holiday one of these days man. It’s been too long since I’ve seen your ugly mugs. I reckon that Tommo will be dropping an album the same month as me or the month after, so we still have time to squeeze a few days before we get busy again.”

“How is he?” I asked as I clawed my way out of bed, making sure not to move my head too much.

“Tommo? Same all old, same old. Well, he’s been doing quite well this past few months. Got a proper boyfriend and all, though haven’t met the lad.”

“Oh.” I kept walking, scrubbing at my face and trying to get my brain to start working. Trying to digest the tiny bit of information Liam just said. “Yeah, I was told he’s a doctor. Can you believe Tommo is dating a freaking doctor? Proper smitten.”

I blinked a few times, too shocked to form a coherent thought. I heard Liam chatter some more but the buzzing inside my heads gets louder, I’m reeling from the tad bit of information. I know I’m in no position to get upset or anything but hearing Louis having a boyfriend shot an arrow inside my heart, shattering it once again to a million pieces.

“Haz…seriously you must come home.”

‘_home_’

Is there such a word in my life. I wonder? The only home I could call is the one I hastily left-- the one where Louis and I both lived.

Why did I leave again?

‘Sick’

Yes…that’s right, I was sick that’s why I left. Physically sick, mentally sick, spiritually sick. Sick of the management’s constant hovering. Sick of hiding. Sick of pretending I don’t love him. Fed up of the ‘us against the world drama’. Done with all the meetings, done with all the cover-ups.

In short, I gave up my love. I was a coward. I run away from it all…to sort out my life…but I feel more mess up. Still and utterly mess up.

I snapped back to reality when I heard shuffling and laughing, “Someone wants to talk to you, Haz. Here, he’s all yours.” I should have guessed who when I heard an airy giggle. I heard a faint shuffling then a distant voice I’ve been dreading to hear flowed out from the speaker. The raspy angelic voice that I constantly dream about. I pressed my lips together and took a quick breath, hopefully, to clear my mind.

More shuffling was heard from my phone, getting louder, “Harold, when are you coming home? You must come home…Simon is scaring all of us here still. He’s like, _‘Get your ass here or I swear to hell all of you will have a coffin for you to rest the next morning’ _or_ ‘You’ll going to see your sorry-excuse-for-a-career down the drain’ _or something like that_.” _I was too distracted with his voice that all I can do was gives an occasional ‘uh-huh,’ and ‘you don’t say,’ as he continues with his rant. I can imagine his scrunched-up face as he dissed Simon. His face always shows to many emotions. I remember watching him give tales of his day to day boring adventure and turned it into something exciting by just his expression alone. His pitches also made his stories more exhilarating than it was. Back then, I could listen to him for hours and hours and hours talking. And he loves talking.

“He’s going nuts! You guys need to save me from here.” I could hear Liam chuckled sympathetically at Louis over-the-top rant, this once again broke my musing.

“Why would Simon do anything to us? He doesn’t—" I asked, making myself seems interested in the topic. But seriously, I’m so done with Syco that I hate talking about them. Sadly, Louis was left to them when we all went and freed ourselves from their clutches. I feel like they got an agreement of something and I feel guilty for it. It seems like he is collateral that can’t be avoided.

Would there have been a difference if we didn’t split as a couple?

A snarky ‘_yes_’ resounded inside my brain and I feel guiltier than before.

Louis snorted in annoyance, “I don’t know mate. I think he still feels obligated and invested on our career, you know…_uncle_ Simon. But seriously he kept nagging me about my health and everything.”

“Well, he does like you a lot.” I pointed out, earning me another unhappy snort from Tommo.

“Yeah, yeah. He really mellowed down after the hiatus. Proper change man and all. Don’t know what he promised me mum but he’s keeping a close eye on me. Kind of creepy if you ask me.” I can hear a tinge fond in his voice and I hated that he still feels a sliver of loyalty to the man who had wrecked us all. Blessed his kind heart and all, I just wished he started believing himself that 75% of the reason we were that successful is because of ‘us’, not the management but ‘us’. He shouldn’t feel obligated to stay with them because of a debt of gratitude. And I also wished that they did not mess him up that he thinks that they are the only ones willing to take him on. He is good, he is enough.

“—he even took me to the executives to sign—"

He is enough. God, I wished I could tell him that. I’m such a hypocrite, I know I’m partially to blame for his low self-esteem. He shouldn’t be second-guessing himself.

“—nags me constantly like he—"

Fucking hell! I want to throw-up. I’m a bad person. I left him alone to fend for himself. Will he ever forgive me? 

“—asked me to guest on a show but I flat out—"

_Louis, will you ever forgive me?_

“—and the other time he dragged me to all those big shots producers. Anyway, when are you coming home? Your tour just ended, right?”

“Yes. Maybe in a week or so.” I said, still sounding a little out of it. Couldn’t believe I am listening to Louis’ rants once again like the past few years of complete radio-silence on both sides never existed.

“Really that’s great! I'm going to take you to the new sushi bar here, I remember you like those kinds of shit.” I tried to smile at that. His voice conveys his disgust in my food preference but still indulges me anyway.

“You could take…what’s her name again? I saw you two on twitter the other day. Damn! The girl beside you was hot.”

“Camille. She’s just an easy fuck.” Damn! Did I just say that? To Louis?

“Oh. How mean Harold. Don’t worry, there are lots of girls here that would want to get in your pants. But seriously Haz you must settle for one—” Louis sighed softly, “—you mustn’t make girls cry. Remember Karma would get to you sooner or later.”

“—umm.” _What is with Louis?_

“I also want you to meet my boyfriend. He’s a brain surgeon— he’s quite busy but I think he can squeeze some time to meet you and Li.”

What the fuck! So, it’s really a new love. Not just a fling, not just a ‘boyfriend’-boyfriend kind of thing. So, the reason he’s going well is that he has forgotten me? Louis William Tomlinson has found a new love and gotten over _me_.

I felt a squirming feeling in the pit of my stomach, but I ignored it all the same. In a few days I’ll be coming to London…I’m going to see my friends…my bandmates…_my_ Lou. No, he was no longer mine. I let him go. I’m the one who gave up. He has someone new. He is someone’s else.

“See you soon, love.”

_Love_?

Fuck, I feel sick.

* * *

* * *

“I heard from Louis that you’ll be coming home.”

I could hear the smile in Simon’s voice from the speaker. I felt shivers run down my spine every time I pictured that smile, that lecherous smile. I know that something is up, but I can’t put a finger on it.

Simon Cowell doesn’t play pleasantry; everything is about business. We learned it the hard way. That is why I’m squeamish that he’s lavishing Louis such attention recently from what I’ve heard.

Something is up. I don’t feel good about it. The last thing I want is Louis to be hurt. The reason I dropped everything because I thought I’m protecting him. I’m protecting us.

“Actually, I’m already here at Heathrow. Early flight, managed to get off the hook with other PR stunts.”

“That’s good. So, you’re going to meet up with the lads or…” I wanted to answer that it’s not his fucking business if I meet up with anyone. He could shove his concern up his tight fake ass. “I don’t think is any of—"

A tiny furball has suddenly launched itself on me before I could give Simon a snarky remark that is long been overdue. I fell on my butt with a sweater-wearing-tiny-man sitting on my lap, a pair of blue eyes peered on top of me and I almost lost it.

“I miss you lad! Luke couldn’t come but he said he’s anxious to see you.” The crinkle in his eyes and the alluring smile he gave almost made me leaned up to kiss him. The way he brashly sat on me with that unapologetic grin he is giving me took me to the first time I fell in love with him. It was like the same Louis of 2010.

The happy-go-lucky Tommo.

The Tommo who gives no fuck on people thoughts. The Tommo who is free, the Tommo whose eyes sparkles with unhindered dreams, the Tommo who is mine.

I looked directly at Lou’s eyes who, by the way, is still comfortably sitting on my lap with that shit-eating grin plastered all over his face. We’re lucky that we’re at an exclusive area and no soul existed except for some employees and high-profiled people who didn’t even glance our way, or the management would have a shit show dawned upon us two.

He gingerly got off my lap and stood up brushing off the unseen dust on his joggers when Jon—his bodyguard—clear his throat. He held a hand to me as he stood up, and I graciously accepted. When I’m on my feet I looked at him for a while and couldn’t help but raised an eyebrow at him.

He was indeed doing well. His cheeks are in a tinge of pink and his skin is glowing, an indication that he’s blooming…

_All because of love._

He smirked at me when he caught me looking at him and wiggled his eyebrows at me and laughed when I did that pout he usually calls my –frog face—pout.

“I hope you didn’t burn down _our_ flat, if you, do I’ll—" _Our._ Yes, ours. I bought it for him, for _us_. So, technically it’s ours, even if the last time I set foot there was the last time I said goodbye to him.

“Twat! Of course, I didn’t burn _your_ flat. I even hired cleaners to clean it occasionally—You know the dust bunny might eat your sofa when you don’t clean your house.”

“Oh.”

“Don’t worry it’s the same as you left it. But if something is out of order, that’s not my fault. Nick sometimes crashes there, of what I heard.”

“—so, where do you live now?”

“Oh, yeah, I haven’t told you. We lived a few blocks near yours and 40 minutes away from Luke’s work. We just moved in there a year ago.”

I don’t know why but, hearing Louis moved in with someone made me feel shot of electricity run down my body. Maybe I just couldn’t believe that Louis, the boy who promised me everything, kissed the path I walked on, has finally moved on with his life. Finally found someone who would appreciate his worth.

While me—

Still searching for the thing called—

“Peace of mind”.

“Hmm? What? Haz, you said something?”

Damn! I have said it aloud.

“Nothing. What about touring me—is there a place I could find some beautiful girls I could screw?”

“So rude mate. What have they’ve done to you, Curly? You should refer girls with some respe—"

“Yes, yes. I know that already I was just having a banter mate.”

* * *

* * *

“Oi? Why are you always hanging around here? Don’t you have a boyfriend or band to attend to? You know an album to finished?”

I glanced at Tommo from the corner of my eye who was sitting contentedly in my kitchen, eating his favorite cereals that I was forced to buy for him. While I –the host—dutifully makes his cup of tea like the way he wants it. It’s been a week now since I got back and since then I never missed his presence inside the house, we use to call ours.

I poured my share of tea on my mug purposely avoiding his gaze. I know he would pull that puppy-dog-eye trick on me again. That trick was the sole reason I ended up having him here every single day.

‘Damn I hate that trick!’

I heard him whine and I bet he’s pouting right about now. I grin at that thought. I finally won this time.

“Haz…curly, don’t you want me here?” I tried to compose myself before I could face him. The opponent is wearing a big sweater and that is a lethal weapon on itself. Even Liam—the strict Daddy direction—is not immune to a puppy-dog-eyed Louis with sweater paw.

I turned around to face him but my eyes are clearly looking pass him, a tactic I have learned so not to directly focused my vision on him, “No.” I hope I said that firmly, Louis could detect if someone is wavering. 

“Knob.” He sneered at me as he continues to finish his meal.

I had to smirk at that. _Win_.

“Humor me, what really happened? You’ve been here every single day. Are you on writer’s block? Are you hiding from Cowell again? Or did the boyfriend of yours decided to ditch you for—let say less loud person?”

Ah, sass can’t live without it. I’ve learned from the best.

I leaned on the table and waited for his dumb answer and maybe some whining. He is really being a good entertainment for a bored twat like me. This, this is Louis that the public doesn’t know. The clingy, cuddly Louis. The softer side of him. The mellow and child-like attitude he usually shows to those who are close to him.

“Sony gave us two months before we start the promo period. The album is finished by the way—” Louis waved his hands at me to emphasis his “—Liam’s spending some quality time with his son. My band doesn’t want to start the practice till the last minute, proper lazy and all that shite. Little siblings fed up with me constantly babying them.” He touched his chest as though he was really offended to add more drama to his narrative.

I sipped my tea but didn’t avert my gaze on Lou who’s still blabbering nonstop.

“—Lotts is busy with her brand. The twins had a lame excuse of doing something on their club. Those brats don’t even care that, me, their cutest big brother is going to spend some time with them—” Louis shook his head and try to wipe some non-existing tears off his eyes as he sniffles a bit, “—then Luke was suddenly called to do an operation. And he always has some sort of meeting and the like—I don’t know what he does with his money, he’s always working nonstop.”

Ah! Work issues. The main culprit in most ruined relationship.

“So, you see Harold, everyone I know is working or doing something. You’re the only one I know who stays at home every day.”

Geez, is this knob calling me a lazy bum?

“—beside you’re the only one I could talk to about my love life.”

And now I’m a gay love expert. First a lazy ass, now a love expert.

“As far as I know I’m a musician like you and I working here for my next album.” I watched as a shy smile and a blush grace Lou’s face.

Damn that smile…and that blush.

Damn this whole fucking set-up!

What’s wrong with this picture?

Here I am _casually_ talking to my **ex-lover** about life and relationship like **old platonic friends**.

_FRIENDS._

Damn! This is freaking weird.

“So, anyway curly how’s Sarah? I knew that girl got the hots for you.” Louis stood up and cleaned his plates and proceed to put it in the washer for me to clean. Typical Tommo.

I countered with, “Every girl wants a piece of me.” I gave him a smug smile as he turned around and looked at me with fake disgust.

_See isn’t this weird?_

I gave a loud sigh. This feels like some kind of a twilight zone, “Tommo…I have a, _fuck_—” I motioned a double quotation movement with my fingers for emphasis, “—in an hour, so if you don’t want live-action hetero porn, get out of my house.”

I’m tired of this odd conversation. I heard him giggle and scrammed off from where he is as I gave him a dirty look and eyebrow wiggle. I licked my dry lips and bit my lower lip and stare dangerously at him. 

He walked towards the door, so I thought he was really leaving so I let down my guard and gave a big sigh of relief as I turn around to walk towards the bedroom to change. I suddenly felt something warm against my back. I become paralyzed for a few seconds, so I hadn’t really reacted to the situation. My brain only registered what was happening when I felt a hot breath on my left ear, “I want to hear all the details tomorrow. Every. Details.”

The damn ass had the nerve to whisper to my ear.

Before I could smack him on the head, he has moved a foot away from me, smiling at me seductively and winked, then ran off out of the house. I could still the heat of his breath as I tried to calm myself, my heart is beating 200 beats per minute. I swear it’s going to kill me if he pulls another stunt like that.

Damn. Why am I even shaking? Maybe from agitation? Shock? 

I can’t believe I’m still standing, stupefied like a dork, my left hand covering my left irritated ear. I started to shake. My knees felt like jelly.

* * *

* * *

“So, how’s your booty call last time? Is she hot on the bed or what? Or was it a he?” I stop making the sauce for our lasagna later to turned around to look at Louis, who just walked into the kitchen in search of something to munch on, smirking smugly at me like he knows a secret or two.

He dropped his smirk as I gave a loud sigh of disappointment, “She’s as cold as a frozen delicacy I buy on the market. I feel like I’m fucking a lump of dead meat or something.” I answered in my most morbid voice I could manage.

The smirk makes another quick appearance, this time accompanied by a raised eyebrow and turns his palms up at me, “Don’t tell me you left her _unsatisfied_? Seriously Harold?” He then proceeds to laugh out loud. He pauses, halting mid-breath as he lowers his voice like someone might hear him, “Or are you having an erectile problem, lad?”

I look at him hard, feeling the urge to smack him but I’m just too damn tired. But I also want to salvage my reputation, “My hand is way better than her.” I just said coolly and shrugged.

_How’s that for a comeback?_

“You’re such a wanker you know that? I don’t know why your fans think you’re such a cupcake.” He snorted and rolled his eyes at me as he walked towards the living room and continued watching the show that was on.

“Not my fault that all the girls _and_ guys you introduced to me all turn out to be a frigid, nagger, clingy, masochist or just plain virgin,” I called out to him, having the last say. Even the sass master from Doncaster doesn’t hold a candle to me now.

He didn’t even take the bait as I waited for his sassy retort, but none came. It went completely silent for a whole five minutes. It was suffocating, the silence. I need to break this eerie stillness. I hurried the sauce and let it cool as I walked to where is.

I sneaked in and proceeded to slump on the sofa beside him, “Hey! Aren’t you supposed to be with your boyfriend? What is he again?”

Upon mentioning his beloved’ name, he suddenly perked up, “He’s a brain surgeon.”

“Surgeon,“ I repeated, “Are you sure he’s really your boyfriend?”

“Defo.”

“He hasn’t operated on you yet?”

Louis turned his head towards me, visibly thinking hard as he mulls it over, though it’s more than a little obvious he’s restraining himself to lashed at me severely, which is, by the way, I deserved. It was really a dick move to say that. “You are such a dickhead you know that? What is it with you and Liam? Pissed off. Are you saying I’m not good enough for a doctor?”

They really suit each other, that is what I can deduce from the stories Louis had told me. They seem perfect together, although I really can’t attest wholly for, I have never seen them together, nor the man himself.

_Together._

Every time I think of Louis and his boyfriend – what his name again? Ah yes, Luke – I feel an electrifying circuit run down my body.

_Why? I don’t know._

I’m ok with the thought of Louis having another love. So why? Maybe—somewhere within me— still can’t get over the fact that the boy I promised my pledging love as a teenager had fallen for somebody other than myself. Sometimes I feel jealous whenever he would mention his name. But it’s normal right.

_Right?_

He was once _mine_ so it’s normal to feel that way.

_Damn! I need to get laid._

I heard Louis groaned beside me, indicating that he was bored yet again. The shows he was watching was no longer entertaining him as much as he liked. That triggers me to ask the most stupid question ever, “Is it worth it?”

I don’t know why the hell I ask that.

Hell! I don’t even know if he understands it. I hope he would just let it pass or hadn’t heard it. I’m afraid that he would ask what I mean because—I really don’t know what I really meant either. It just popped out of my mind.

“You know I had asked that a million times…”

I raised an eyebrow. He heard it and he knew what I meant. I had to hand it to him. Well, he is the most perceptive even when we were in a band.

“…but every time I end up sleeping on the couch whenever I wait for him but only to wake up in our room and his face is the first thing I’d see. Or, I’d always wake up with him gently rubbing my belly or combing my hair with his hand as he patiently waits for me to open my eyes each morning. Or, when I wake up, he’d kissed me gently on the lips and down my throat as he mumbles the word ‘_mine_’—"

I feel a knot on my stomach.

_Mine_. Possessive bastard.

“—and every time he does that, I’ll forgive him.”

I feel funny inside again. Ha! The sappiness of these all. I might use it on my song. Damn! My stomach feels funny. I shouldn’t have eaten that curry.

“—Whenever I feel the stress building up, he would be there circling his arms around my waist and he would kiss me on the cheek and like miracle, I would end up as cool as a cucumber.”

Damn Stomach! Now it affected my heart. I think I going to have a fever or something. I really feel funny inside.

“I know he’s not the best boyfriend in the world, but I know he’s trying to. So, I guess it’s enough for me. It’s all worth it.”

Honestly, I didn’t expect his answer to be like this…Damn! I don’t even expect an answer…but somehow, I know in my heart that’s the only answer fitted to the question. I don’t know how to react. I can’t think of a sarcastic comment. I’m kind off at lost at the moment. I’m confused.

Then something in me snaps.

Damn! Damn! Damn! What’s the matter with me? I feel like punching someone. I’m getting frustrated for nothing. I feel my temper rises. I need a drink, a strong one.

I stood up from where I’m sitting and had the fault of looking at him. And my heart began beating faster. I swear I could hear it thump. I could feel the pulse on my neck. I just hope it doesn’t burst or something. My heart is beating like crazy and somehow it hurts.

I feel suffocated.

I want to do something. I want to scream. I want to punch someone—

I’m going nuts.

I need to get out of here. I need to—

“—and you know what Hazza? He told me he wants to settle down.”

I definitely want to punch someone.

“Idiot.”

I sat down again, hands covering my face as I screamed internally in frustration. Damn, I’m getting so irritated right now. Louis looked at me with bewilderment, his brows furrowed in confusion at my outburst. Ha! I finally snapped him from the little fantasy of his.

“Do you think it would work out? You rarely see each other. What would you think it would make any difference if you marry him?”

I heard him take a deep breath to say something, but no words come out. I swallow the urge around the lump in my throat and wait for him to say anything. Anything. I could see him making that serious face of his in the corner of my eye. Maybe he’s pondering what I’ve said.

“What about your job? Did you forget that your job would require you to go on tour for months? You’re putting out an album for fuck sake! For just fucking minute think about your fans who are waiting for you.”

My heart is pounding away in my chest and I find I’m unable to not look at him, sitting there beside me looking so small and fragile, vulnerable.

I can’t, for the life of me, look away from him even for a minute, even when we were still together as a couple. His radiance just sucked me in, it’s like looking at a gorgeous being and it heals you from within, like an angel bathed in the soft light.

“It wouldn’t work. It’s not a fairy tale. You know that.” You know that because you fucking experienced that first hand. We also thought we had a happy ending. The two of them wouldn’t work. It just wouldn’t work, because _ours_ failed. Ours was like a fairy-tale, but it came crushing us like a nightmare. I hate to burst his bubbles, but he needs to get his feet back on the ground. He’d just get hurt if this carries on. _Again._

I leaned forward, my elbows over my knees as I tried to look at him closely with is head down, fringe covering his eyes, “I don’t want you to get hurt in the end.” _Like the last time._

Somehow, I knew I really meant what I said but a part of me is screaming something. I really don’t understand myself anymore. He always made me feel like this. I don’t like not being in control, not knowing where I stand. I don’t like being in the dark.

My head hurts. My heart keeps thumping. It’s beating faster and then slower…then faster again. I just want it tore out of my chest.

My stomach has butterflies flying around. I just hope its just indigestion.

I felt a pair of arms circles around my waist, head resting on my shoulder— Suddenly I feel warm inside. It’s been a while since I last felt this warm. So warm—and loved.

I put my hand on top of his hair and ran my fingers through his hair, I tried hard not to take a deep breath because his smell is intoxicating. I wanted to ask him something. Maybe he knew the answers to all my questions I could never answer. Besides, he’s the one who ignited these questions in my brain to start with.

He’s the sole reason I’m confused. The reason I feel weak inside. He’s the one whose face I see every time I go to sleep or drifted on to my daydream.

Maybe he knows why I feel like this whenever he’s around. Why I feel out of control. Why I’m not myself when I’m with him.

I want to ask him but before I could open my lips, I found his lips already on mine and in a blink of an eye it was gone.

He smiled at me and mumbled ‘_thanks_’.

Before I could ask what for, he was already walking out the door leaving me sitting on my couch confused as I gently touched my lips,

How could a simple kiss turn your whole world upside down then up again? Straightening the crooked path; the wrong into right. How a simple brush of his lips with mine could answer all the questions I’ve been seeking. The peace I’ve been yearning.

I feel stupid suddenly. I’ve left him to seek the inner peace, wasting energy and time for the answer that this simple kiss had solved. A simple kiss! Damn!

Maybe it wasn’t just the kiss…maybe the thought of losing him…permanently…made me realized that he is…still is, the love of my life. I really do love him. This is not just a teenager’s infatuation. This is not just admiration. This is not a phase like all the adults around were saying.

I love him, I honestly love him. He is ‘it’ for me.

Fuck! How could I not see the sign…now I’m losing him.

Losing him…

FUCK!

“Harry!”

I’m must be crazy thinking about Louis that now I’m hearing voices.

“For fuck sake lad!!!”

“Huh?”

I look up only to come face to face with Liam. What the hell is he doing here anyway? And what time is it?

“Tommo…”

What? What about Louis?

To be continued...


End file.
